dan rather: something in the air

interesting story about Iraqi "burn pits" care of Dan Rather and HDNet.

know i remember 'em...

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dan-rather/something-in-the-air_b_552863.html

the needle was big

and she was an intern.

the "doctor."

so, technically, she wasn't a doctor. but, a real "doctor" was beside her.

asking her if she knew where the L5, L6, disks were.

she didn't. broad pointed to the wrong place.

and the "doctor" corrected her.

so she stabbed me with this monstrous needle - and it hurt.

pretty bad, i gotta admit.

then i felt a POP! and i think she breached my spinal cord.

penetrated me.

watching the needle squirm via live x-ray.

she could see the needle inside me, and she missed.

this goddamn intern missed. so she pulled out.

poked again.

hurt again.

missed again.

WHAT. THE. FUCK? why does it seem like i'm somebody's experiment.

some vietnamese intern who barely speaks english is fucking experimenting with my back.

with my life. sanity. family. career.

all of it.

and she's missing. finally i had to say something.

"WHAT THE FUCK? AM I GUINEA PIG OR SOME SHIT LADY?"

the "doctor" - the so-called real "doctor" - explained the Long Beach VA was a 'teaching hospital.'

essentially means these graduate students cut their teeth on Vets.

practice makes perfect, right?

finally hit the spot. i got numb. real numb. they patch me up. put me in a wheelchair - cuz i couldn't walk, and wheeled me out to the lobby - the staging area for other Vets seeking relief.

what a sight. nothing but old geezers.

buncha fat, old, depressed, anemic-looking, utterly soul-crushing, Veterans.

geez...

some guy in a wheelchair didn't even seem like he knew where he was.

mumbling. bumbling.

another guy, some former Jarhead who looked like a 50-year soda jerk, told me i'd probably have to live with this pain for the rest of my life.

have to come in for these goddamn shots every three-months.

but look on the bright side: you'll get %100 disability from the VA.

oh, and you can't forget this one: you'll be able to work @ the VA commissary, serving up slop to vietnamese interns!

woooyeah! - that's what i want from my life.

dishing slop.

to interns.

who don't speak English.

doped up and wheelchair bound.

don't get me wrong, i love helping Vets, and i'm a fan of young vietnamese women - but i'll pass.

needless to say, my experience @ the Long Beach VA, was horrible.

downright shameful.

bus bench ad w/pooch

sometimes i drive by this bunch bench. it's on the way to my coffee place.

and this bench has an advertisement on it - you know the ones...

"Your Ad Here!"

but it's been bought. some woman; 40-something, big-boned, strain in her eyes as she cranks out one of those bullshit too-bit real estate grins.

which is apt, cuz she is a real estate agent.

and she's posing with a bulldog.

this butt ugly bulldog with droopy eyes and raw meat for lips.

matter of fact, the pair kinda look alike.

but it made me think - has this woman, this middle-aged lady, completely given up on humanity - on the human race, that she prefers to be seen with her dog?

her butt ugly bulldog?

instead of homo sapien sapien?

has she been burned by so many men...maybe women, that this bulldog (we'll call him Brutus)...that Brutus has become her life-partner?

that Brutus eats better than most children in Darfur?

has better dental hygiene than most Brits?

that she pays good money to pose for glamour shots with Brutus?

and then post said pictures on a bus bench ad - for all to see.

but what do i know?

she's probably a good person...probably.

Arte Journal. Germanic-style

nice little article 'bout me and "operation in their boots." even mentioned "get some," going to the Short Film Corner @ Cannes. only caveat - it's in German. just google "online translator thingy," (or click the blue high-lighted word thingy) and you'll be dialed in. mucho gracias to the Germans and Arte TV!

CLICK HERE

THURSDAY, spinal injections

@ the Veterans Administration in Long Beach, CA.

and after nearly two years of constant back pain caused by several bulging disks and what the half-assed VA's docs have deemed "degenerative disk disease," i've got a chance @ peace.

despite the relative success i've seen lately, my personal life has really taken a turn for the worst.

circling the bowl,

feeling like a malingerer,

another Veteran sob story.

it's amazing how pain works.

how it can dictate one's life.

so goddamn fragile, we humans are.

(big surprise, right?)

but THURSDAY...THURSDAY, is the day.

spinal injections.

steroids injected directly into the spinal column.

cord breached, nerves subdued.

twitching.

and then, happy again.

suspect it's gonna hurt.

hurt bad.

but i'll smile and grin and bear it like a champ...hopefully.

and i'll wince and clench my jaw and feel the relief as the needle pierces the spinal cord...hopefully.

and if you're the religious-type, say a prayer for old pissed off christoff.

because i'd do the same for you...

monday's shoot, shooting...

some pix from Monday's shoot, care of Lizette from "operation in their boots."

apologies for the odd stances and awkward gestures - it was just one of those arms akimbo days, you know?

enjoy.

this lady, a bum

was outside the LAX Firing Range.

filming had concluded. gathered everything we needed, 'bout to hop in the Corolla, when this guy and gal wandered into the nearby abandoned car wash.

the guy

- some drunk old black dude, claiming to be a "ex-Marine."

the gal

- some drunk old hispanic lady w/a hospital band around her wrist.

she said, "carillo" was her name.

"carillo."

"carillo."

then the drunk old black dude asked if we needed a "target," to shoot (seeing us come outa the range). he pointed towards the drunk old hispanic lady.

"carillo."

and i thought it was a joke.

- the whole thing.

but the drunk old black dude wandered off, shopping cart in tow, and

"carillo," told me she was having a heart attack.

she started spitting up.

just spit.

white;

clear;

spit.

and she grabbed my arm - pulled hard.

forced me to look.

look right into her eyes.

- day-old cocktail onions swimming in bloody mary's.

reminded me of those women in Iraq - you know the ones; wailing like it's outa style.

- their son, husband, nephew killed.

"collateral damage," General Mattis said. "and you'll have plenty of time to feel sorry these bastards when you get home..."

so i asked my DP to get the last bit of footage we needed and i'd deal with "carillo."

took her aside.

- keeping her at bay.

but she extended her hand.

(BEAT)

mandia hesitates.

doesn't wanna touch her.

but he thinks. brow furrowed.

"you're making a goddamn documentary about people. about the humanity of soldiers and Marines who're trying to get past all the fucked up shit War entails, and here you are - faced with a real person, who's crying and gagging and spitting up and you don't even want to hold this poor old broads hand"

so i took it.

tanned hide, it felt like. calloused smooth like a miner. or longshoreman.

told her i would call 911 - get the cops or an ambulance.

and i gave her a buck - because i think that's what she really wanted.

more money to get blotto.

40 ounces to freedom, ya know?

get fucked up.

forget about this world.

so "carillo," sat on a bus bench across the street.

crying.

right there in Inglehood.

crying as cars passed by.

crying as that black bastard boyfriend or husband or whoever the fuck that old drunkard was - dug through trash-cans.

shortly, an ambulance arrived.

and i left.

"carillo," said thanks. waved. smiled the best she could.

corroded teeth and yellowed gum.

and me - i drove to Shakey's to enjoy pizza, fried chicken and potatoes.

they were good.

clementine, rooster

so strange.

my rooster - clem - is depressed. like really depressed.

eyes downcast and 1000-yard stare.

like " i've seen things man..."

or "is it really better to have loved and lost?"

sniffle, sniffle.

see, his mate died - corneilious, and he got pretty crazy when she died.

started flapping around. squawking like a girl. chattering away.

panicked.

scared.

anyways, found it interesting - this little pea-brained McNugget has feelings.

some updates...

if you're interested - current info on what Pissedoff is up to.

lots of cool stuff.

swear.

just click,

**HERE**

(yesssss)

Cannes Catalog Thingy

a catalog of sorts,

and it's from Cannes

and it's just cool to see this little film get so much exposure.

check it out:

http://www.shortfilmcorner.com:80/sfcfilm/filmFiche2.Aspx?id=13786140